Terms for vehicles

• Big Truck, Big Rig, Rig, 18-wheeler, Tractor/trailer, Semi – these are common terms for a truck with only one trailer. BTW the trailer is often referred to as “being pulled” but it is actually carried on what’s called a “5th-wheel”
• 4 wheeler – this is a car. Anything with 4 wheels, car or truck.
• Tractor – This is the truck only, not the trailer.
• Bobtail – Tractor only running without a trailer
• Box: The most basic trailer also known as a dry-van. Just a big old box that can be used to haul all kinds of crap.
• Reefer, Cooler or Ice-box – A Reefer is a refrigerated van type of trailer.  It can both cool and heat a trailer
• Day cab – A truck cab without a sleeper berth
• Doubles, Set of doubles, wiggle wagons – A tractor with two trailers. Typically with two 27 foot trailers referred to as “pups”. Each trailer usually only has one axle as well.
• Triples, Trips, Set of trips, wiggle wagons – same as above but with three instead of two.
• Shanty Shaker: Short tractor-only that moves mobile homes.
• Portable Barnyard, Rolling Ranch – Cattle Truck or livestock hauler
• Freightshaker – Any model Freightliner straight truck or tractor (what I m driving now)
• Bedbuggers – Moving company trucks
• Parking Lot – car haulers this term is also used for heavy stopped or slow traffic.
• Covered Wagon – Typically a gravel trailer topped with a tarp
• Dragon wagon, Happy Hooker – tow truck
• Meat wagon, Band-Aid Buggy – ambulance
• Skateboard – a flatbed trailer.
• Roller skate – any small car. Originally referred to a Volkswagen
• Stagecoach – a tour bus.
• Fuel can or Gas can: Fuel tanker
• Thermos bottle - tanker
• Wally World – a Wal-Mart truck, store or dist. Center
• Buster Brown -UPS truck
• Mail Box – Postal truck
• Saltshaker – a snowplow
• pickemup truck – a pick up truck
• murdercycle – motor cycle
• Scoot or Hood ornament – a Harley-Davidson motorcycle
• Happy Camper, The Griswalds – Recreational Vehicles (RVs) of any kind.
• Yard Dog, Yard Mule – Tractor used to move trailers at a terminal, a driver who drives a terminal tractor.
• Dragon Fly - truck that goes slow up the hill then fast down hill
• Chicken Truck - Doesn’t have to be large as long as it’s a very flashy rig with all the bells and whistles. Lots of lights (called chicken lights) and tons of chrome. Usually an owner-operator. Almost always found in the hammer lane.

Terms for the law, the police

• Bear or Smokey – the police (not the band…hehe)
• Polar bear- Department of transportation enforcement officer.
• Baby Bear- Cop in training, or rookie
• Bear-in-the-air – Police in a plane or helicopter
• City-kitty – local cop
• County-Mounties – county sheriff
• Boy Scouts – The State Police
• Local Yokel – Small town cop
• Evil Kenivel – a motorcycle cop
• White, brown or Blue Wrapper – Unmarked police car; (depends on color)
• Care Bear: Term for the officer who has to spend all night sitting in a highway construction zone with his disco lights on to make sure everybody slows down to the work zone speed limit.
• Gumball machine, Disco Lights – police cruiser with lights flashing. Also called hit the jackpot “Looks like someone hit the jackpot.”
• Bear Trap -Stationary police vehicle with radar
• Blue Slip - Ticket
• Chicken Coup – weigh station
• Kojak with a Kodak – Cop with radar.
• Open Season – Cops are everywhere
• Rolling Road Block Slow moving police cars blocking traffic flow; also One Swift driver trying to pass another.

Slang terms used for people we encounter

• Super trucker, Billy Big Rig – A driver who breaks all the rules because he either thinks it’s cool or is trying to make that big money. Super truckers typically speed excessively, drive fast in bad weather conditions, use two logbooks, haul overweight loads, and drive for endless hours without sleep sometimes using drugs to stay awake.
• Driver – what we call each other.
• Townie – A “normal” person with a regular job is a townie. Someone who goes home every night.
• Citizen - someone who is not a trucker.
• Cottonpicker – sometimes used as a male-bonding term, but more often as a mild insult. The equivalent of jerk.
• Willie-weaver – drunk driver or someone who is falling asleep at the wheel.
• gearjammer, gearslammer – a speeding truck driver, one known to accelerate/decelerate quickly.
• Beaver – an attractive woman
• Ankle biter- Small child or annoying teenager
• Bear Bait – Excessive speeder
• Bumper Sticker – A tailgating four-wheeler
• CB Rambo Wannabe tough guy on CB radio
• Lot lizard, Commercial Company – Prostitute
• Lizard with a kickstand – male prostitute
• Good Buddy – A gay male trucker. Unfortunately many truckers are homophobic and usually use ‘good buddy’ to be meant as an insult.
• Seat cover – attractive female in passenger seat, usually in a 4 wheeler
• Lumper- Person who unloads trucks

Miscellaneous Slang terms

• Alabama or Kentucky Chrome – Duct tape
• Barbershop – Low overpass “ Driver your coming up on a barbershop in about 2 miles”
• Big Road, Boulevard – Interstate Highway; Four-lane road
• Little Road -Two lane road
• Cash Box, Cash Register – Tollbooth
• Comic Book, Swindle sheets - A driver’s logbook. This is where we record what we did during the day in 15-minute increments.
• Flying Hook Flying J truck stop
• Alligator, Gator or Gator Tail Truck tire pieces in roadway
• Go-Go juice, Motion Lotion – Fuel
• Granny Lane – Right highway lane where old people and people on phones belong
  Hammer lane – the far left lane (fast lane)
• Greasy Spoon – Cheap restaurant
• Hammer Lane – Left highway lane or passing lane
• Junk Yard  – Truck company terminal
• Pickle Park – Rest Area this term comes from the fact that most rest areas are tight and hard to get in and out of.
• Back row - the area at some truck stops where hookers hang out.
• Destruction Zone – construction
• Schneider Eggs – Orange barrels or cones at construction sites
• Electric Indian - Blinking Traffic arrow to notify you of lane merging or closure
• The push – a tactic where “we intentionally tailgate you (usually with headlights engaged, even if it’s daytime) because you’re driving like grandma and we want you to speed the up or get out of our way.
• The wiggle – a tactic in which “we pretend to ‘accidentally’ swing our trailer into your lane, scaring the shit out of you and making you get far away from us
• Albino deer – a slang term we use to refer to the odd shit you see at night when driving too damn tired”
• Rolling – moving, driving
• Hammer down -Vehicle moving fast  “Smokey west bound and hammered down”). Also ment to move fast “Hammer down driver.”
• Dead head - To haul an empty trailer.
• Yardstick – Highway mile marker
• Zipper – Dotted white line lane divider
• Bumped – collision or accident
• Backdoor – behind you
• Frontdoor – front of you
• Window wash – a rainstorm

Terms for places around the country

• The Race Track – Interstate 465 around Indianapolis
• Watermelon 500 – Interstate 285 around Atlanta GA
• 80th Street, 85th Street – refers to Interstate your on Interstate 80, interstate 85, etc.
• Shaky Side – West Coast
• Dirty Side – East coast
• The Big A: Atlanta, GA
• Air Capitol: Wichita, KS
• Armadillo: Amarillo, TX
• The Alamo: San Antonio, TX
• The Astrodome: Houston, TX
• The Apple: New York, NY
• Bean Town: Boston, MA
• Big D: Dallas/Fort Worth, TX
• Big O: Omaha, NE
• The Bikini: Miami, FL or Florida in general
• Bright Lights: Kansas City, MO
• CB Town: Council Bluffs, IA
• Cigar City: Tampa, FL
• Circle City: Indianapolis
• The Cities: Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN
• Cow Town: Calgary, AB
• The Flag: Flagstaff, AZ
• The Friendly: Philadelphia, PA
• The Gateway: St. Louis, MO
• Gay Bay: San Francisco, CA
• Guitar Town, Music City: Nashville, TN
• Hog Town: Toronto
• Hotlanta: Atlanta, GA
• Irish: South Bend, IN
• Mardi Gras: New Orleans, LA
• Mile High: Denver, CO
• The Dirty: Cleveland, OH
• The Mistake on the Lake: Erie, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, OH…and every other city on the Great Lakes
• The Nickel: Buffalo, NY
• The Peg: Winnipeg
• The Rubber: Akron, Ohio
• Shaky City: Los Angeles (aka Lost Angels, Lower Arkansas)
• Smoke City: Birmingham, AL
• Steel City/Town: Pittsburgh, PA
• The Swamp: Montreal
• Windy: Chicago, IL
• Dysfunction Junction – usually used when you have a lot of interstates and US highways merging together.
• Derby – Louisville, KY

Armadillo 6
Bear 1
Bird (small) 10
Birds of Prey 2
Cat 2
Coyote 1
Deer 8
Dog 2
Opossum 4
Squirrel 3
Turkey 1
unidentified 15
Insects 1,000,000+

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I pick him up in Panama City, Fl. while I was getting loaded with rolls of paper. Due to the heat and humidity from approaching Hurricane Fay I had my windows down. Unknowingly I picked up a fly. Normally i have screens that I can install to avoid this sort of thing but this time I didn’t bother with them. A bad idea being in Florida. I first noticed the fly minuts after I got on the road. I hate flies! I’ve had flies in the cab before and usually its not that big of an issue, but this fly was out to get me.

He started his attacks immediately. I’d swat, he’d fly away. He’d land on my dash, i’d smack. nothing was working. I hoped he would back off and I’ll deal with him when I get fuel in Montgomery, Alabama. no such luck.

I finally arrived at my fuel stop, started fueling and armed myself with an old magazine and went on the hunt for the fly. I spent the time it took to fuel 140 gallons but he was nowhere to be found. I finished fueling, checked my oil, filled out my paperwork, and went to the restroom. Overall about 15 minutes. Before I started back on the road I did one more sweep through the rig and still found nothing. thankfully he was gone.

I start on my way, getting on US 82 west. US HWY 82 is a 2 lane road between Montgomery and Tuscaloosa. Its not ideal for big trucks but it was my route. It’s slow, winding, hilly and full of little one horse towns. The deep south. The first 20 mile was without incident and then…..there he was coming in from my right. He bombed me in the face. DAMN!! Not again. He was back. I know it was the same fly because he landed on top of my steering wheel and could swear, flipped me off.

Once again he started with an endless barrage of attacks. It was hell. I could do nothing but pathetically swat at the air around me trying to sway him off. There was no place or time to pullover to deal with this threat. I was at his mercy.

For over 300 miles he had been a superior opponent but all things come to an end. Maybe he was tired, maybe he thought I had given up but he landed on my dashboard and just sat there. I watched him for a moment. He just sat there. Slowly I reached for the folded magazine that was stashed just within reach and took my shot. Direct hit! His reign of terror has ended. Ended in Mathiston Missisipppi.